Culp's Quote Database

  1. Scott's trick was to marry someone who doesn't speak any English.
  2. The demographic of women that I work well with are those who have never met me.
  3. My daughter was born in 2005 back when I was working 100 hour weeks. I have no recollection of her first year of life.
  4. We had a party at my house to celebrate a big software release. But I ended up on the phone with a client helping them solve an issue with the software all night. I was stuck in the basement of my own house while the rest of the team was upstairs at the party.
  5. One weekend I stayed at the office by myself writing a missed feature in our software. I didn't sleep that weekend and no one else was willing to help write it. After it was released, an issue was discovered with that feature. The rest of the team gave me the rupee (worst developer) award.
  6. My wife is awesome but if I hadn't married her I would have been a millionaire by now.
  7. Brad, as my Tertiary Solution Designer, what do you think about this issue?
  8. 5 Guys for lunch? Sure. I think I still have an artery that isn't clogged yet.
  9. Lying is an important part of marriage. If my wife and I were always honest with each other we would have gotten divorced years ago.
  10. I do have faith in my subordinates which makes it all the more disappointing when they fail.
  11. When I was younger I was actually very very timid.
  12. Go ahead. I'm the last person in the world who will tell you not to eat.
  13. Don't you dare say it Brad. I will hit you in the face.
  14. It's amazing that I'm still hungry.
  15. The whiter the bread the sooner you're dead. That's what my dad always used to say. Apparently he ate a lot of white bread.
  16. Today I learned that whole religions exist where you don't eat meat.
  17. Why are you still standing here? Go fix the code. There is no work-around. Well.. you could mail the clients a white-out pen.
  18. It's only an HR moment if you get caught.
  19. You can trust me on this. I know [the feature] better than I know my wife.
  20. If you hold another 'Infinity' card up, I'm going to kick you in the head.
  21. Well obviously all the coding tasks should go to me if we want them resolved as quickly as possible but I need to give you guys a chance too.
  22. It's MC Chris, not DJ Chris!
  23. Captain Kirk doesn't say that! It's Picard! That's blasphemy. I have to leave now.